5 ways to support a loved one struggling with depression

I’ve supported many people with depression, both in my personal and professional life. I probably don’t always get it exactly right but I think I’ve learned some pretty good ways of helping someone through it which I’d like to share with you.

How to tell if someone might be dealing with depression

Firstly, it’s important to recognise the signs of depression so that you know if someone in your life may be experiencing it.

Here are some of the things you may pick up on:

• Appearing closed off or more quiet than usual

• Not doing the things they normally do

• Struggling to take care of themselves - you might notice this in their appearance or their home environment

• Lacking appetite or eating more than usual

• Spending a lot more time in bed

• Generally seeming very down in themselves

5 types of support you can offer

Here are 5 ways to support a loved one struggling with depression.

1. Check in

If you feel like someone in your life is experiencing depression, the first thing to do is check in with them. It can be hard to know what to say, or you might be worried about saying the wrong thing, but it's really important to be there for your loved one. They might say that they’re fine initially so it's always good to ask more than once to make sure.

2. Just be there for them

The main thing you can do is just to be there for your loved one. You don't necessarily have to say or do anything, just your support and a listening ear can be enough.

3. Offer practical support

Your loved one may need practical support with their day-to-day tasks, like housework, shopping, or taking them to appointments.

4. Get active with them

Getting outside for walks or doing other forms of exercise can be extremely helpful for improving wellbeing. The person may not have the motivation to do this alone so if you can start by going with them this will make it much easier. It may not instantly fix things, but it can be really beneficial over time.

5. Encourage your loved one to seek professional help

Sometimes more support is required. Encourage the person to seek professional help by looking for a counsellor or speaking to their GP about the types of support available. Make sure they know there is nothing wrong with needing help.

What you shouldn’t do

There are some things you should avoid doing if someone in your life is experiencing depression. What not to do:

• Deny their experience or tell them it's all in their head

• Tell them to "cheer up" or "just think happy thoughts" (we don't need toxic positivity)

• Avoid the person or stop reaching out to them

• Tell them to "snap out of it"

• Shame them for struggling

Asking the tough questions

It’s also important to know the signs of suicidal ideation.

If the person says things like "I just can’t go on" or "I feel like it’s not worth it" or "I don’t want to be here anymore" they MAY be experiencing thoughts of suicide.

It’s important to ask direct questions and be really open about this so there's no room for misunderstanding. It’s a myth that by asking someone about suicide you put the idea in their head.

It can be a huge relief to someone having these thoughts for someone to actually ask them about it so they can share and offload. Most of the time people just want to be heard and they don't actually plan to act on it. This does NOT mean they are attention seeking.

There's no need to panic. However, if the person is not only having thoughts of suicide, but also has a plan, the means, and a time frame, then it's essential to seek help. You can call the mental health line on NHS 111 or take the person to A&E if it's an emergency.

Hopefully this has helped you to recognise the signs that someone may be struggling with depression and how you can best support them.

Until next time, take care.